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How Sexually Violent Language Perpetuates Rape Culture

Articles Blogger Communications Transferring Skills communication Feminism language protection rape culture sexual violence Language:   English Author:   Erin McKelle

Have you ever noticed how violent our language is? Even when we aren’t even talking about anything inherently violent itself? We probably tell people to “go f*ck themselves” when we’re angry. That’s a lot of violence right there. You’ve probably also noticed that that’s a lot of sexual violence. This language is so normalized, it’s probably part of your vocabulary, too. In fact, not using sexual violent language is almost impossible because of how ingrained it has become.

We don’t even realize what we are actually saying because we don’t question it. So how can every one of us work to stop using language derived from sexual violation?

Every time we use this kind of language, we are a part of the problem.

We have to stop normalizing it in our own lives and call ourselves out when we use it. We have to hold ourselves accountable when we do.

A good way to stop a habit is first to understand it.

Try writing down or keeping tally for a few days every time you use one of these words or phrases. Do you tend to use this language when you’re angry or hurt? Next time you feel this way, pay attention.

The point is to get out of old habits and into new ones.

It takes on average 66 days to make or break a habit. Be patient with yourself, but also stay on track.

Think About Sex in New Ways

Have you ever noticed that a lot of the ways we talk about sex are dangerous?

The jury is definitely in on this one. There’s a very real connection between how we as a society discuss sexuality and the prevalence of sexual violence.

Collectively, we use the commodity model to understand sex. This model comes from an economic model of scarcity, which advocates the idea that women’s worth is directly related to how much sex she’s had and that virginity is the most “valuable” status. Men’s sexuality is, inversely, more valuable the more sex partner’s he’s had. This is where the idea that men want sex and women want love, and that it’s women’s job to be the “gatekeepers” of sexuality. When she has sex, her worth decreases. When he has sex, his worth increases. This model is obviously sexist.

Since women’s sexuality is based on a value judgment of her worth, and certain types of women are worth more than others, victims of rape are often blamed for the crimes committed against them.

This leads to the point that we need to have new models in which to think about sexuality. We cannot rely on the commodity model.

Start train yourself to think about sexuality this way, instead of as a commodity.

Read more on everydayfeminism.com

Photo, Source: VC Coordinator

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